Sunday, May 27, 2007

Oh hey, did I mention I'm an idiot?

Just checking. But in case you needed yet another example, here it is.

I was invited to attend a girls night at the apartment of a friend of mine last night, an apartment I'd never been too. So, being the anxious dweeb I am, I scouted out the route on the good old TTC four days in advance. Then I checked again a day later, and twice more yesterday. I committed the directions to memory, and made lengthy notations in the memo pad on my cell, Snowball II, all about what streets I need to pass, and what streets I shouldn't pass or else I've gone too far. Yeah, I know, I'm certifiable. Anyhow, I was sure that all I needed to do was go to Davisville Station, and catch the Bayview 11 bus, and the rest would be easy.

(Pause for dramatic effect)

Again, to reiterate, I'm an idiot, so of course it wasn't that easy.

I get to the station, and get on the bus, and keep my eyes peeled for the street names. Note that I'm not looking for the numbers, oh no, because that would make some kind of sense. And my logic does not resemble your earth logic. Hell no. So I'm looking and looking, and not seeing the streets I need to. A creeping dread is developing in the pit of my stomach. Then all of a sudden, I'm at Eglinton, which a quick look at my notes on Snowball II confirms is way past where I need to be. So I jump off the bus and look around, when it dawns on me that the address on the building in front of me is 1787. And, in case you aren't mathletes, is pretty damn far from the address of my friend, which is in the 1300s. I did that math in my head. Impressed? So I start hauling ass, trekking down Bayview, in the hopes that I will be able to get there before I'm so late that some guests might be leaving. After a bit, I realize that Mount Pleasant Cemetery is coming up, and then, I look to my left, and I see that I'm finally at my friend's place. A split second later, I realize that I recognize the building. And I should, because my aunt lived in the same complex. For over 4 years.

That's right. Despite lots of planning and map checking, I got lost on my way to a place I have been dozens of times before.

Later, at home, I check my work again, trying to see where I went wrong, and it turns out that the Bayview bus never even passes by my friend's place. I read the map wrong. Over and over.

Tremble at my intellect.


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