I can't concentrate

On anything.

Seriously. I can't think about anything for more than a few minutes before my mind wanders to a certain person and when I'll next be able to spend time with him. I start cleaning the house, and soon I'm daydreaming about our next conversation. I try to read a book, and I'm suddenly overcome with images of his face. I write emails to friends, only to lapse into reviewing our last meeting. I shower, and well, you know....

This does not bode well for next semester, does it?

Busy, busy, busy

So much going on in Mabel's life right now.

There is baking to do, decorating to take place, family events to attend, frequent "Why you suck" meetings with the parents, various get togethers with different groups of friends, out of town guests to see, and finally, and most importantly (to me, at least) a certain person to spend as much time with as is humanly possible.

I need a vacation.

And I'm done

Finally. The semester comes to an end.

No more insane stats prof who answers every question with "If you had read the textbook, you'd know the answer".

No more skeezy musician trying to ingratiate himself to me.

No more close-talking, insane prof who doesn't really know what he is supposed to be marking us on and caused me to drink in class.

No more incompetent groups for projects.

But there is a downside - No more cute stats partner. At least, not for a while.

Now, I plan on spending my time getting all ready for the holidays, and doing fun stuff with the people in my life. Woo! And might I add, hooo!

Further update

I'm not an idiot apparently. I didn't put my trust in the wrong person, just in someone who didn't handle the overwhelming emotion and complicatedness of the situation with anything close to approaching maturity.

He finally sacked up and contacted me. We met, and one look at him told me that he'd been through an awful time and was truly sorry. He explained the circumstances, and agreed that there was no excuse, but wanted my forgiveness and another chance. I told him in no uncertain terms that if this happens again, they'll be finding his body for weeks. We talked some more about things, and after he apologized some more, volunteered to meet with each of my friends individually to explain himself and endure some verbal abuse, and suggested that he make himself available for a public stoning, I decided that I'd forgive him.

So that's where we are. I'm happy again, though a touch more wary than before, and don't have to figure out what size of wimple I wear. Yet.

Things I've learned recently

1) When deliriously happy, I don't post.

2) I'm deliriously happy right now. Insanely so.

Cautiously optimistic

That's what you should label me.

Recently, someone came into my life in a big way, and with the force of a mack truck. After much discussion, we decided to meet up this past weekend. I was worried it was going to be awkward, or the chemistry we'd had wouldn't hold up in person. I shouldn't have been. I just had one of the best weekends of my life.

Now, there are some potential obstacles, and they are in no way small ones, but there is interest on both sides to keep this going. I have no idea if it will work, or what will happen if my school crush shows interest (he asked me to study with him on the weekend. What does that mean?) but for the first time in a long time, things are looking up for Mabel in the opposite sex department. Maybe.

Products I love?

A few days ago, I ventured into the local drugstore to purchase some toiletries, including new razor blades. When I went to the aisle, I was reminded why I hate buying hair removal products - they cost so damn much! I hemmed and hawed, and was about to walk away, leaving myself in my hirsute state, when I saw something that was in my budget. They were selling a starter kit of the Venus Breeze, you know the one with strips that replace shaving cream? - for under 8 bucks. I figured I'd give it a shot, as it was way cheaper that buying new blades for my razor. Yeah, I'm frugal like that. I tried it out, and loved it. As has been documented previously, I have the grace of a drunken elephant, and frequently, when trying to slather my legs in shaving cream, I end up dumping a bunch of it on the floor of the tub. I was skeptical about not needing shaving cream, figuring this was a marketing ploy (and I'd know about marketing ploys!) but I didn't need any additional cream, and it was super easy to use, even for me. And the results were impressive. Super close shave, and no nicks. My only concern is that the strips will wear down too soon, and I'll end up spending a lot more money on blades than I did before. Otherwise, I have a new product to love.

Pardon the pop culture reference...

But I'm bringing flirting back.

Not in general, of course, as I realize that it never left the world at large. But I'm bringing it back to me.

I used to be a terrible flirt. The term scandalous would be an apt description of the way I flirted when I was younger. Didn't matter if I liked the person, as long as I got attention and no small amount of desire from the target. Now, being older and wiser (they do come hand in hand, right?) I know that I went too far back then. And yes, there are examples that illustrate this, but no, you can't hear them.

In recent years, I'd gone too far the other way and somewhere along the line, I lost my ability to flirt. I think it had a lot to do with confidence. I wasn't the person physically that I used to be when I was flirting (with immense success, I should point out) and I didn't feel like people would respond positively to my attempts. We can all agree that rejection sucks, and so I stopped. But with all these changes I'm going through, I'm trying to like myself more, and to see myself as I used to. Or, more importantly, as I actually am.

Enter the internet.

I've recently found a little group of friends (no, not you Stormy, but hi!) to chat with. Most of the people are guys, and with so few girls, there tends to be lots of random flirty comments batted about on both sides. And probably because it is the internet and I don't know these people, and because they can't see how I look, I found I was able to flirt again. Intensely. A lot. To the point where I blush at what I'm writing due to the innuendo, and am amazed at my ability to get in a good line. And the thing is? They are flirting back. And now I remember why I used to like it so much. It is a great way to show off my wit and verve, and I think that's always been the strongest part of my appeal. Oh, the physical part of me was fine, but I knew I could nail 'em with my personality. I guess I had forgotten how to showcase that part of me, due to an extreme dislike of the way I looked.

And while I know that none of this will come to anything (and I will likely never meet the people I'm spending all this time with) I think it has given me a great gift. I can flirt again! Thanks should go out to the one commenter in particular who has done a great deal to make me blush and show my drollness and spirit. I couldn't have done it without you. And I really appreciate it.

Now, if only I could do it in person, and with someone I'm actually interested in having a relationship with, I'd be all set. But give me time, and I think I'll master this. Next step - trying it out on my crush?

Tips for putting the fun in academia. And by fun, I mean alcohol.

Starbucks Hazelnut hot chocolate topped up liberally with Frangelico is an excellent way to get through class.

It is tasty, and helps dull the pain of scholastic pursuits. Plus, it is odour-free, so no one can tell you are boozing it up. No one, that is, unless you start acting drunk. Like by adding your own "The way I see it" statements to your cup, in which you slag the stupider members of the class, show it to your friend and then the two of you giggle like idiots for five minutes straight. Over and over again.

(title credit to Stormy.)

Exciting news!

For me, anyway.

I was going through my closet, trying things on to see what is too big and I can get rid of, and what items finally fit me again. And there were amazing results all over the place. Tops that I bought because they were ridiculously on sale (even though they didn't fit at the time) now fit me perfectly, and look awesome. Dresses I used to wear but then stopped because they started to look heinous (and then stopped fitting) are now wearable, if not completely awesome.

But the best part? This gorgeous clingy velvet dress I bought ages ago and love to pieces, finally fits again. I put it on, and looked in the mirror, and couldn't look away. I looked fantastic. I haven't liked the image in the mirror for as long as I can remember, so it was quite a shock. I spent the evening walking around the house in it, not wanting to take it off.

Now I just need to find a place to wear it. Any ideas?