Now, let's be clear on something:
I've always disliked Valentine's Day. Always. I've always been against it, whether I'm in a relationship or not. So this bitterness is not due to my recent trauma.
But I hate today. It is crass, and commercial, and sets up all sorts of unrealistic expectations, not to mention it brings out the worst in people. I have seen people who break up with someone based solely on not making a big enough deal of this day. I have seen people treat their significant others like crap most of the rest of the year, and by throwing money at the stereotypical red roses, jewellery and chocolate, feel they get a free pass to do so because they've made up for it. It makes me ill.
Additionally, I hate the whole idea that all women want the same things, that I'd be placated and impressed if my man brought home the generic gift mentioned above. Actually, if he did that, I'd be a little unimpressed, thinking he didn't know me all that well.
So, here's a little primer for any potential future mates of mine when it comes to V-day:
I don't like diamonds.
I hate red roses.
I loathe all the cuddly-wuddly crap like bears, and hearts and the like.
I don’t relish the idea of making this one day into some huge relationship test.
And lastly? I'd be far more impressed if you came home on May 5th with a bottle of wine and some alstromeria.
Showing posts with label complaineration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label complaineration. Show all posts
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My ipod hates me part 2
On my way to school today, my ipod decided I should listen to:
OMD - If you leave
Yaz - Only you
Both of which totally didn't make me burst into tears. I'm starting to think about tossing it into the microwave.
OMD - If you leave
Yaz - Only you
Both of which totally didn't make me burst into tears. I'm starting to think about tossing it into the microwave.
My ipod hates me
So, yesterday, while sitting in class moments before my accounting exam, I'm trying to focus on my notes instead of the gaping hole in my heart and the fact that I can't seem to feel my limbs, and I have my ipod on. And what cheery, helpful tune does it decide to play?
Left & Leaving by The Weakerthans.
If you're not familiar with it, go find a copy and listen to the lyrics. And tell me you wouldn't break down if you were in my shoes.
And in case you were wondering? The accounting exam? Went just swimmingly. If I managed to get anything above 60% I will throw a party. I couldn't focus on the questions, and barely was able to hold the pencil to fill in the scantron. I'll say this for him: he's got impeccable timing.
Left & Leaving by The Weakerthans.
If you're not familiar with it, go find a copy and listen to the lyrics. And tell me you wouldn't break down if you were in my shoes.
And in case you were wondering? The accounting exam? Went just swimmingly. If I managed to get anything above 60% I will throw a party. I couldn't focus on the questions, and barely was able to hold the pencil to fill in the scantron. I'll say this for him: he's got impeccable timing.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I was obviously Hitler in a past life
I have to have been. That's pretty much the only thing that explains my karma.
After my post asking about me being demanding, I went to my parents for a family member's birthday dinner, and it was awful. My mother was terrible to me, and I watched her needle my father, and I just decided that no matter what, I didn't want a relationship like that, and that what the boy and I had was pretty damn good, so I'd work through it. I'd decided to not talk to him about my demands. I got home from dinner and called him, and we had one of our nice, long, really amazing talks. I told him I was bringing him some of the meringues I made for curling, and we said we were looking forward to seeing each other in the morning.
I arrived at the coffee shop a bit early, and he was there. We said hi, and chatted a bit, and he bought us coffee. We went and found a table, and he told me that he got the gig in Tulsa. I congratulated him, and then he said that it meant spending two weekends a month there, and that he thought that meant he wasn't going to be able to be in a relationship. I just about passed out. We spent the better part of two hours sitting there, alternately talking and sitting in silence, me trying to figure out what the hell he was thinking, and why he was doing this, and him giving me mixed messages. I'd sit there looking away, and out of the corner of my eye, I'd catch him looking at me, but when I'd look up to meet his eyes, he'd look away and pretend he hadn't been looking. Finally, he had to go catch his flight to Hoboken, and he got up to leave. He asked if we could talk later, and I said sure, and then he hugged me, tightly, and kissed my head a couple of times, and then we broke apart, and he kissed me a couple of times, and then he took the meringues and left. I was upset, and confused, and had to go do some schoolwork.
Fastforward to later in the evening, when I'm trying to study for my accounting exam today (again, what did I do to deserve this?) and not being able to, as all I can think of is our promised conversation. I finally sack up, and call him. He picks up the phone, and apologizes for not calling, and we have short, stilted chat about the rest of our days. Then he says he'll call me back on his calling card, and I say okay, and hang up, partially convinced he won't. But, a few minutes later, he does. We again have this stilted conversation about stuff other than the elephant in the room. I take the plunge, and mention it. And we go through everything. I ask him all the things I need/want to know, and he tries to explain. Basically, he said he needs to focus on his career and his kid, and can't do a relationship, and he doesn't want a relationship, and all that. But it is the strangest conversation I've ever had, because while we do talk about us, we also talk about random stuff in our lives from earlier in the day, and stuff that had happened to us on other days, and in some ways, were really, really honest about everything, and it was like our normal conversations. We talked for almost two hours, including a break where he had to get off the phone for a bit, but then called me back. He said he didn't want to never talk to me again, but was surprised that I didn't want him dead, and didn't know how to handle us...however we end up. I was surprised that I didn't want him dead either. I'm angry (and how!) and think he's not being honest with himself and that he's doing this for other reasons (fear of intimacy, fear of getting hurt, fear of not being able to make me/us happy with him being away so much) and am not unconvinced that he won't wake up and realize that he made a mistake at some point in the future, but I don't want him dead. And I do think I want him in my life. I opened up to him in ways I haven't to anyone else, and I don't want to let go of that, whatever else happens. And yes, I might change my mind on that, but right now, that's how I feel.
So, we're going to talk when he's back in town in a couple of weeks. I guess that's supposed to give us time to separate, or get over it, or whatever. I'm not sure that I'm not hoping it gives him time to smarten up and retract this. And yes, that's a stupid thing, and I'm trying to not focus on that, but I just can't. This will sound insane, I know, but I would swear to you that we are a perfect fit, and I just can't accept that if I haven't totally been snowed by him, that we aren't supposed to be together.
And now, I'm left with a broken heart, shattered confidence and a feeling that I'm a terrible judge of character. I'd drink, but accounting takes a sober mind.
After my post asking about me being demanding, I went to my parents for a family member's birthday dinner, and it was awful. My mother was terrible to me, and I watched her needle my father, and I just decided that no matter what, I didn't want a relationship like that, and that what the boy and I had was pretty damn good, so I'd work through it. I'd decided to not talk to him about my demands. I got home from dinner and called him, and we had one of our nice, long, really amazing talks. I told him I was bringing him some of the meringues I made for curling, and we said we were looking forward to seeing each other in the morning.
I arrived at the coffee shop a bit early, and he was there. We said hi, and chatted a bit, and he bought us coffee. We went and found a table, and he told me that he got the gig in Tulsa. I congratulated him, and then he said that it meant spending two weekends a month there, and that he thought that meant he wasn't going to be able to be in a relationship. I just about passed out. We spent the better part of two hours sitting there, alternately talking and sitting in silence, me trying to figure out what the hell he was thinking, and why he was doing this, and him giving me mixed messages. I'd sit there looking away, and out of the corner of my eye, I'd catch him looking at me, but when I'd look up to meet his eyes, he'd look away and pretend he hadn't been looking. Finally, he had to go catch his flight to Hoboken, and he got up to leave. He asked if we could talk later, and I said sure, and then he hugged me, tightly, and kissed my head a couple of times, and then we broke apart, and he kissed me a couple of times, and then he took the meringues and left. I was upset, and confused, and had to go do some schoolwork.
Fastforward to later in the evening, when I'm trying to study for my accounting exam today (again, what did I do to deserve this?) and not being able to, as all I can think of is our promised conversation. I finally sack up, and call him. He picks up the phone, and apologizes for not calling, and we have short, stilted chat about the rest of our days. Then he says he'll call me back on his calling card, and I say okay, and hang up, partially convinced he won't. But, a few minutes later, he does. We again have this stilted conversation about stuff other than the elephant in the room. I take the plunge, and mention it. And we go through everything. I ask him all the things I need/want to know, and he tries to explain. Basically, he said he needs to focus on his career and his kid, and can't do a relationship, and he doesn't want a relationship, and all that. But it is the strangest conversation I've ever had, because while we do talk about us, we also talk about random stuff in our lives from earlier in the day, and stuff that had happened to us on other days, and in some ways, were really, really honest about everything, and it was like our normal conversations. We talked for almost two hours, including a break where he had to get off the phone for a bit, but then called me back. He said he didn't want to never talk to me again, but was surprised that I didn't want him dead, and didn't know how to handle us...however we end up. I was surprised that I didn't want him dead either. I'm angry (and how!) and think he's not being honest with himself and that he's doing this for other reasons (fear of intimacy, fear of getting hurt, fear of not being able to make me/us happy with him being away so much) and am not unconvinced that he won't wake up and realize that he made a mistake at some point in the future, but I don't want him dead. And I do think I want him in my life. I opened up to him in ways I haven't to anyone else, and I don't want to let go of that, whatever else happens. And yes, I might change my mind on that, but right now, that's how I feel.
So, we're going to talk when he's back in town in a couple of weeks. I guess that's supposed to give us time to separate, or get over it, or whatever. I'm not sure that I'm not hoping it gives him time to smarten up and retract this. And yes, that's a stupid thing, and I'm trying to not focus on that, but I just can't. This will sound insane, I know, but I would swear to you that we are a perfect fit, and I just can't accept that if I haven't totally been snowed by him, that we aren't supposed to be together.
And now, I'm left with a broken heart, shattered confidence and a feeling that I'm a terrible judge of character. I'd drink, but accounting takes a sober mind.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Am I being a demanding bitch?
No really, I'm asking because I need to know.
So, the boy has all these demands on his time, especially when he is back home. And over the past month and a bit, I've been coming last. Like way last. Three of five scheduled meetings have been cancelled with no rescheduled time offered. I've always been understanding, and haven't made an issue of it, but it means that he is sad, and I'm sad, and it sucks, and makes our conversations (the main form of our relationship) kind of strained sometimes. But I think I'm getting to the end of my rope. This weekend, we were supposed to get together, but due to circumstances beyond control, we couldn't. I knew he was doing the right thing, but was still sad. To combat my sadness, I suggested that he try to find a way to get together later on the weekend. And he thought he had a couple of possibilities. Then, it looked like one was going to work, and we were both delighted. We had a nice conversation, actually able to enjoy talking to each other, as opposed to the earlier conversation where the cancellation happened. Today was supposed to be the day, but an hour or so before the meet, he had to cancel. With reason, but still. Again, sadness all around, particularly because meeting up tomorrow before he heads back to Hoboken wasn't an option. After a bit, I decided to change my plans for tomorrow so we could meet up.
And now I think that I need to talk to him about how I'm feeling, but am worried that I'm being a demanding bitch by doing this. I knew going in I wasn't number one or two on his priority list, and that I wouldn't get to see him tonnes. But, with him cancelling on me so frequently, I'm starting to feel like I'm not even third on the list. And maybe that's not fair, because I've only been cancelled on because of his top two priorities, but it is how I feel. And I think I need more. But if I ask for that, is that asking for too much? Is that going against what I agreed to going in? And is that going to cause us to break up? I don't know what I expect him to do about this, because when he's had to cancel, he's had no other option. And I don't want to be a stress in his life, but I'm getting resentful of making time for him and then getting cancelled on.
Should I bring this up? How do I make my point without being whiny? Is this me being one of those women I've always hated? Does he think I want to break up? What am I prepared to put up with, and what is my limit? Will I pull my heart off the table at some point? Gah. I'm nauseous just thinking about it. But I think I need to talk to him about it, because if this happens one more time (and it likely will, at some point, if not right away) and I haven't said anything, I don't see me handling it well. I don't even know if I want to talk to him tonight after visiting my parents (which again, will be a reverent joy) and pretend that everything is okay, seeing as I think tomorrow isn't going to be fun. I see him in about 28 hours. Maybe I should start drinking now?
So, the boy has all these demands on his time, especially when he is back home. And over the past month and a bit, I've been coming last. Like way last. Three of five scheduled meetings have been cancelled with no rescheduled time offered. I've always been understanding, and haven't made an issue of it, but it means that he is sad, and I'm sad, and it sucks, and makes our conversations (the main form of our relationship) kind of strained sometimes. But I think I'm getting to the end of my rope. This weekend, we were supposed to get together, but due to circumstances beyond control, we couldn't. I knew he was doing the right thing, but was still sad. To combat my sadness, I suggested that he try to find a way to get together later on the weekend. And he thought he had a couple of possibilities. Then, it looked like one was going to work, and we were both delighted. We had a nice conversation, actually able to enjoy talking to each other, as opposed to the earlier conversation where the cancellation happened. Today was supposed to be the day, but an hour or so before the meet, he had to cancel. With reason, but still. Again, sadness all around, particularly because meeting up tomorrow before he heads back to Hoboken wasn't an option. After a bit, I decided to change my plans for tomorrow so we could meet up.
And now I think that I need to talk to him about how I'm feeling, but am worried that I'm being a demanding bitch by doing this. I knew going in I wasn't number one or two on his priority list, and that I wouldn't get to see him tonnes. But, with him cancelling on me so frequently, I'm starting to feel like I'm not even third on the list. And maybe that's not fair, because I've only been cancelled on because of his top two priorities, but it is how I feel. And I think I need more. But if I ask for that, is that asking for too much? Is that going against what I agreed to going in? And is that going to cause us to break up? I don't know what I expect him to do about this, because when he's had to cancel, he's had no other option. And I don't want to be a stress in his life, but I'm getting resentful of making time for him and then getting cancelled on.
Should I bring this up? How do I make my point without being whiny? Is this me being one of those women I've always hated? Does he think I want to break up? What am I prepared to put up with, and what is my limit? Will I pull my heart off the table at some point? Gah. I'm nauseous just thinking about it. But I think I need to talk to him about it, because if this happens one more time (and it likely will, at some point, if not right away) and I haven't said anything, I don't see me handling it well. I don't even know if I want to talk to him tonight after visiting my parents (which again, will be a reverent joy) and pretend that everything is okay, seeing as I think tomorrow isn't going to be fun. I see him in about 28 hours. Maybe I should start drinking now?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Busy, busy, busy
So much going on in Mabel's life right now.
There is baking to do, decorating to take place, family events to attend, frequent "Why you suck" meetings with the parents, various get togethers with different groups of friends, out of town guests to see, and finally, and most importantly (to me, at least) a certain person to spend as much time with as is humanly possible.
I need a vacation.
There is baking to do, decorating to take place, family events to attend, frequent "Why you suck" meetings with the parents, various get togethers with different groups of friends, out of town guests to see, and finally, and most importantly (to me, at least) a certain person to spend as much time with as is humanly possible.
I need a vacation.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The hell?!?!?!?!?
Last night, we didn't have curling (lousy bonspiel, ruining all my fun) so my curling buddy and I went out for dinner and a chat about the exciting fact that at least one hot bartender is back this year, and about our respective crushes.
We went to local pub, midway between our places, and had a lovely time. Good food (deep fried cheescake is awesome, yo!), good beer, good conversation, and good hockey (cram it with walnuts you stupid Habs!). All in all, a great evening. We got our bill, paid it, and left the pub. As we were crossing the street, someone kept calling out "Ladies!" We ignored them, as they couldn't be talking to us. It turns out they were. Our server was chasing us, saying we hadn't paid the whole bill, and wanted to talk it out in the middle of traffic on a major street. She said we hadn't left enough, and she could show us, so we followed her back in, and she gave us the folder with our bill and money in it. There were two twenties, a ten, a five and some coins. Not enough to cover the bill. However, we had a problem with this.
The problem? We counted the money three times, and there is no chance that we'd both count a five as a twenty THREE times. Different values in Canadian money can clearly be seen, unlike American money, where you have to look close.
The other problem? Neither of us had a five in our wallets at the start of the evening. My friend had three twenties, and I had a twenty (fresh from the bank machine) and a ten. And as we never asked for change, how the hell did a five get in there?
We know we put $70+ in the folder, and left, so the only thing we can think of is that someone (either our server or someone else on staff, or maybe another patron?) switched out a twenty for a five, and hoped we'd be nice (read: gullible) enough to put more cash down. And the fact that she'd be all "But I can show you!"with something she had left sitting out where anyone in the pub could access it doesn't prove anything. So, when faced with a five instead of a twenty in the folder, we did the only thing we could see doing. We gave her another twenty, grumbled and left.
What was supposed to be a relatively inexpensive night turned into a hugely annoying, very expensive night. I'm never going back, and I'm ever so pissed.
To ease the pain, we went back to her place and downed a bottle of wine.
Really though, what else could we have done?
We went to local pub, midway between our places, and had a lovely time. Good food (deep fried cheescake is awesome, yo!), good beer, good conversation, and good hockey (cram it with walnuts you stupid Habs!). All in all, a great evening. We got our bill, paid it, and left the pub. As we were crossing the street, someone kept calling out "Ladies!" We ignored them, as they couldn't be talking to us. It turns out they were. Our server was chasing us, saying we hadn't paid the whole bill, and wanted to talk it out in the middle of traffic on a major street. She said we hadn't left enough, and she could show us, so we followed her back in, and she gave us the folder with our bill and money in it. There were two twenties, a ten, a five and some coins. Not enough to cover the bill. However, we had a problem with this.
The problem? We counted the money three times, and there is no chance that we'd both count a five as a twenty THREE times. Different values in Canadian money can clearly be seen, unlike American money, where you have to look close.
The other problem? Neither of us had a five in our wallets at the start of the evening. My friend had three twenties, and I had a twenty (fresh from the bank machine) and a ten. And as we never asked for change, how the hell did a five get in there?
We know we put $70+ in the folder, and left, so the only thing we can think of is that someone (either our server or someone else on staff, or maybe another patron?) switched out a twenty for a five, and hoped we'd be nice (read: gullible) enough to put more cash down. And the fact that she'd be all "But I can show you!"with something she had left sitting out where anyone in the pub could access it doesn't prove anything. So, when faced with a five instead of a twenty in the folder, we did the only thing we could see doing. We gave her another twenty, grumbled and left.
What was supposed to be a relatively inexpensive night turned into a hugely annoying, very expensive night. I'm never going back, and I'm ever so pissed.
To ease the pain, we went back to her place and downed a bottle of wine.
Really though, what else could we have done?
Monday, November 3, 2008
A bizarre development
I've had new jeans sitting in my closet for a while now.
They didn't fit for a bit, then they did, but I had to get them shortened as my legs aren't 3 miles long. Before having professionals do this, I wore them a couple of times, not coincidentally on days that I see my crush, after having tucked the extra material under with some safety pins and thread (I'm like a female MacGyver. Gimme some bubblegum, a match and a piece of twine and I'll hatch you a kickass centrepiece) but I finally took them into the tailor to have them professionally shortened. And after getting them back, I put them on to discover something.
These awesome jeans, which were just right, are now a little big around the waist. Even though I've got them the "right" length, they start to slip down, and the bottoms drag on the ground without the aid of a belt. I thought I'd finally gotten past the need to wear belts with my pants in order to keep 'em up. Belts don't scream sexy to me. And at least one day a week, sexy is very important.
Maybe I can take up a pants collection. Anyone care to contribute?
They didn't fit for a bit, then they did, but I had to get them shortened as my legs aren't 3 miles long. Before having professionals do this, I wore them a couple of times, not coincidentally on days that I see my crush, after having tucked the extra material under with some safety pins and thread (I'm like a female MacGyver. Gimme some bubblegum, a match and a piece of twine and I'll hatch you a kickass centrepiece) but I finally took them into the tailor to have them professionally shortened. And after getting them back, I put them on to discover something.
These awesome jeans, which were just right, are now a little big around the waist. Even though I've got them the "right" length, they start to slip down, and the bottoms drag on the ground without the aid of a belt. I thought I'd finally gotten past the need to wear belts with my pants in order to keep 'em up. Belts don't scream sexy to me. And at least one day a week, sexy is very important.
Maybe I can take up a pants collection. Anyone care to contribute?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A sad development
As you'll no doubt recall, I've been waging (and winning) the war against being a tub o'lard. And I've been pleased with the results.
Except.
Yesterday, as I was walking from the shower to my bedroom, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. Naked. And was less than thrilled with the image reflected back at me. I was never someone who thought the sight of my naked body was going to start setting hearts aflutter, even before the weight gain. I wasn't one of those people who insist on always having the lights off during sex or anything, but I wasn't super pleased by the way I looked. But I had hopes that with this change for the better, I'd be more impressed. And I'm not. Maybe I'm hoping for too much, or maybe the naked improvements will take longer than the clothed improvements. I hope that I'm not going to be paying for my weight issues forever while naked, that there is going to be a time when I feel good being unclothed, and that my body will get in line with all the work I'm doing.
Am I dreaming?
Except.
Yesterday, as I was walking from the shower to my bedroom, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. Naked. And was less than thrilled with the image reflected back at me. I was never someone who thought the sight of my naked body was going to start setting hearts aflutter, even before the weight gain. I wasn't one of those people who insist on always having the lights off during sex or anything, but I wasn't super pleased by the way I looked. But I had hopes that with this change for the better, I'd be more impressed. And I'm not. Maybe I'm hoping for too much, or maybe the naked improvements will take longer than the clothed improvements. I hope that I'm not going to be paying for my weight issues forever while naked, that there is going to be a time when I feel good being unclothed, and that my body will get in line with all the work I'm doing.
Am I dreaming?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
WTF?
I look outside, on this the 21 of October and what do I see? Snow. That's right, the white, fluffy stuff. Was this really necessary?
Thanks ever so much global warming.
Thanks ever so much global warming.
I REALLY hate my financial institution
In a move that some would find shocking, I kept my bank account at my former employer. It was easier to keep it because all my bills were set up under it, and I'm a lazy, lazy person. I had another account with a different institution, but that was for one monthly withdrawal and any cheques I had to write (my former employer was never able to get me the cheques I requested, and I eventually stopped asking. They also weren't able to set me up with internet banking. And I'm not the only employee they managed to do those things to. I'm surprised the people who work in those branches are able to dress themselves. But I digress.) but most of my banking is done through my former employer.
That is gonna change.
Today, I went in to deposit a cheque, so that I could use the money for trivial things like food, and important stuff like a new shirt for my study date tomorrow. I went to the teller, thinking I'd be able to get a few dollars out today instead of waiting. Boy was I wrong.
The teller was all confused, and told me there was a hold, but she would get someone to authorize my withdrawal of 5% of the money today. That person came over, and looked at my file, and yelled that I hadn't updated my information. I was in that very same branch not two months ago, paying my fees for school, at which time I updated all my information with the teller (or so I thought) so I told her I was confused. Then she ripped into me for not having employment information listed. This confused me, as I'm not sure what business it is of theirs where I'm employed, but I told her I was in school, so there wouldn't be employment info. She retorted that they should have my school information listed then. Again, I stated that I had been in, paying my fees for said school not that long ago, so you could take a look at my transactions and see a bill being paid to my school, and deduce that probably is the school I'm attending. Again, I don't see why this is their business, but whatever. I told them my school name.
Then, they ask to see a bunch of forms of id, never mind that they have my card, and have already updated the information I gave them. I can see why this is important if I'm taking money out, but fail to see the importance when depositing money. I'd be the worst thief ever. And let me point out that at this point, they haven't actually deposited the money, so I guess they are testing to see who I am for the information update. I know they need to confirm my identity, but asking me upfront at the start of the transaction in a polite manner would be better than getting part way through and demanding it like I'm some kind of criminal.
And then, the final insult. They tell me they can't do anything, but if I want to head to the bank where the cheque originates and get it certified, then they can help me, but other than that, I'm boned. I'd like to point out at this juncture that having worked at a financial institution, and being a person with at least a modicum of intelligence, I know that there are many things they could have tried to help me. They could have called my home branch to get the hold lifted in whole or in part (again, I wanted 60$, not the whole amount of the cheque), or they could have called the branch the cheque came from to see if they could get certification over the phone, or they could have decided that since I've never deposited a cheque that wasn't good, they could advance me the 60$. And there are probably other things they could have tried. They might not have worked, but it would be worth a shot. Instead, they decided to make no effort to help, and instead dump the problem in my lap. This is why I pay fees? Next time, I'll just get cash and stuff the money under my mattress.
Finally, the woman explained everything to me like I was a child, and offered to send a letter to my home branch to see if eventually they'd remove the hold, and sat back, satisfied that this should make me happy, even though I told her that I actually needed a tiny bit of money for tomorrow and the rest could wait. When I told her there was no point, as I needed the money tomorrow and ordinarily I don't need it, so it doesn't solve the problem I have, she didn't even bother to apologize or be nice at all.
So, now I can't buy the food I wanted, or get the new top I was eyeing, or even pick up the clothes and winter coat I had tailored (this is why I needed the 60$) until next week.
Today was the last straw. I'm so overcome with rage at the continuing ineptitude of my former employer that as soon as I can access my money, I'm taking it all out, and closing the account. And I'm telling them exactly why, pointing out that even when they eliminated my job, I didn't close the account, but their inability to get any of the tiny requests I've made right has made it impossible for me to keep my account.
And, in a nice turn, today has also opened up those old wounds of "Why the hell am I out of a job when simpering morons who can't complete the simplest of tasks keep theirs?" and "I can't believe that I'm so worthless that I can be let go this way." which I thought I'd left behind.
Grrrrrrr.
That is gonna change.
Today, I went in to deposit a cheque, so that I could use the money for trivial things like food, and important stuff like a new shirt for my study date tomorrow. I went to the teller, thinking I'd be able to get a few dollars out today instead of waiting. Boy was I wrong.
The teller was all confused, and told me there was a hold, but she would get someone to authorize my withdrawal of 5% of the money today. That person came over, and looked at my file, and yelled that I hadn't updated my information. I was in that very same branch not two months ago, paying my fees for school, at which time I updated all my information with the teller (or so I thought) so I told her I was confused. Then she ripped into me for not having employment information listed. This confused me, as I'm not sure what business it is of theirs where I'm employed, but I told her I was in school, so there wouldn't be employment info. She retorted that they should have my school information listed then. Again, I stated that I had been in, paying my fees for said school not that long ago, so you could take a look at my transactions and see a bill being paid to my school, and deduce that probably is the school I'm attending. Again, I don't see why this is their business, but whatever. I told them my school name.
Then, they ask to see a bunch of forms of id, never mind that they have my card, and have already updated the information I gave them. I can see why this is important if I'm taking money out, but fail to see the importance when depositing money. I'd be the worst thief ever. And let me point out that at this point, they haven't actually deposited the money, so I guess they are testing to see who I am for the information update. I know they need to confirm my identity, but asking me upfront at the start of the transaction in a polite manner would be better than getting part way through and demanding it like I'm some kind of criminal.
And then, the final insult. They tell me they can't do anything, but if I want to head to the bank where the cheque originates and get it certified, then they can help me, but other than that, I'm boned. I'd like to point out at this juncture that having worked at a financial institution, and being a person with at least a modicum of intelligence, I know that there are many things they could have tried to help me. They could have called my home branch to get the hold lifted in whole or in part (again, I wanted 60$, not the whole amount of the cheque), or they could have called the branch the cheque came from to see if they could get certification over the phone, or they could have decided that since I've never deposited a cheque that wasn't good, they could advance me the 60$. And there are probably other things they could have tried. They might not have worked, but it would be worth a shot. Instead, they decided to make no effort to help, and instead dump the problem in my lap. This is why I pay fees? Next time, I'll just get cash and stuff the money under my mattress.
Finally, the woman explained everything to me like I was a child, and offered to send a letter to my home branch to see if eventually they'd remove the hold, and sat back, satisfied that this should make me happy, even though I told her that I actually needed a tiny bit of money for tomorrow and the rest could wait. When I told her there was no point, as I needed the money tomorrow and ordinarily I don't need it, so it doesn't solve the problem I have, she didn't even bother to apologize or be nice at all.
So, now I can't buy the food I wanted, or get the new top I was eyeing, or even pick up the clothes and winter coat I had tailored (this is why I needed the 60$) until next week.
Today was the last straw. I'm so overcome with rage at the continuing ineptitude of my former employer that as soon as I can access my money, I'm taking it all out, and closing the account. And I'm telling them exactly why, pointing out that even when they eliminated my job, I didn't close the account, but their inability to get any of the tiny requests I've made right has made it impossible for me to keep my account.
And, in a nice turn, today has also opened up those old wounds of "Why the hell am I out of a job when simpering morons who can't complete the simplest of tasks keep theirs?" and "I can't believe that I'm so worthless that I can be let go this way." which I thought I'd left behind.
Grrrrrrr.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sigh.
Well, that sucked.
I'm so glad we dissolved a Conservative minority government in order to elect a Conservative minority government.
Way to go Canada, this so isn't a completely asinine decision, and totally won't come back to haunt us. Nothing but good will come from this heinous, idiotic result.
If you need me, I'll be drinking myself blind till the next election.
I'm so glad we dissolved a Conservative minority government in order to elect a Conservative minority government.
Way to go Canada, this so isn't a completely asinine decision, and totally won't come back to haunt us. Nothing but good will come from this heinous, idiotic result.
If you need me, I'll be drinking myself blind till the next election.
And Alberta?
Electing all Conservative members, even incompetent dullard Rona Ambrose?
Cram it with walnuts, you ugly, ugly dillholes. Thanks for making a good case for us ignoring everything you do. Sigh.
Update: apparently they let one NDP member in, which doesn't make up for the rest of the seats going to that ultra-right wing nut job party. You're still on notice.
Cram it with walnuts, you ugly, ugly dillholes. Thanks for making a good case for us ignoring everything you do. Sigh.
Update: apparently they let one NDP member in, which doesn't make up for the rest of the seats going to that ultra-right wing nut job party. You're still on notice.
Oh, Canada...
...are we breaking up?
Seriously. If things keep going the way they seem to be, I may have to find a new country to call home.
For shame.
Seriously. If things keep going the way they seem to be, I may have to find a new country to call home.
For shame.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Let the group-work induced drinking begin!
Remember the whole fiasco that took place last week with my advertising class? Yeah, I know, I tried to wipe it from my mind too, but no such luck.
(Deep breath)
After the huge success that was our last assignment, there are some events that I haven't shared. Mostly because even thinking about them caused me to shake uncontrollably with rage. I think I've got it under control now, so I'll give it a shot, but you may want to stand away from your computer screen, just in case.
(Another deep breath)
Imagine it: Same time, one week ago...
I finally got everyone's work, way late. For the most part, it wasn't well done, and was either incredibly vague or completely off-topic. In addition to the part I was responsible for, I had drafted the rest of it on my own, and used that as the base, occasionally (very, very occasionally) adding something from the work my group members had given me. I wasn't all that pleased with the job we'd done overall, as I knew we were going to have to redo/add significant amounts to it to make it a proper foundation for the rest of the project.
I was also hella pissed, as I had to go to my parents place at the ungodly hour of 7am in order to print everything off before class because I don't have a printer. I got to class, told the prof I wanted to talk to her, and was hopeful I could get out of the group. When my group members showed up, I tried to be calm as I told them what we were going to have to redo at some point, and I didn't attack any one person. Two of the group members were very good about it, and one of them seemed annoyed at my comments, but as I'd been nice (and was in the right) I felt okay. Then, the last guy came in. The one who had been super late with his stuff.
And then it got bad.
He started in on me, yelling that I was trying to take over everything, and wasn't speaking for the group, and that I was wrong about everything. Now, I don't react well to personal attacks, but I managed to keep my cool, and not yell back. I told him that I just wanted to do well, and that we hadn't done everything we needed to. I told him this in a rational voice (and damn, was I ever proud that I didn't resort to bashing him over the head with a desk.) and looked him in the eye.
And then it got worse.
He retorted that he spoke for the team, and that they wanted to do well too, and he refused to even let me finish a sentence. It was all I could do to keep my hands from shaking, my fury was that intense. After this delightful exchange, we had to meet with the prof to talk about our first assignment, which also was a complete ball of suck that only got done because I pulled something out of my ass in 15 seconds. She told us we would need to make more adjustments to it in order to make it work.
After handing in the part that I had done for the second assignment (the part that vaguely resembled the assignment due), we got to go back and talk about the third assignment. Mr "I speak for the group" took over. He started explaining everything, even though he was wrong on pretty much every point. He made decisions unilaterally that should have been group decisions. I said nothing. Why? Well, I decided that since he was against me, I would let him organize this assignment, and that he'd either surprise me and do a good job, or he'd give me more ammunition on just how much he sucked. Either way, I wasn't up for another yell-fest.
And then it got horrendous.
So, where are we now? Well, the third assignment is due tomorrow morning. I was only supposed to do a small part, and someone else was to compile the different parts and print it. I was not involved in any decisions, and just took the part assigned to me. Consequently, trivial things like deadlines, and making sure the parts read as one whole instead of the independent work of five people were not established. We are 9 hours from class, and I have discovered in the past 90 minutes that they want me to edit and compile. Only problem? I have my part, some weird amalgam of the first two assignments from someone else, and something that seems to be copied directly from some website (and isn't on topic) from a third. Mr "I speak for the group" hasn't sent anything, though apparently he called someone in the past half hour to say "it will be really late" and no one has heard from the other member. And I'm expected to edit, compile and send it back to someone so that she can put the last part in early this morning when she gets it. Oh, and I'm supposed to talk to the guy who hasn't sent anything yet. It is deja vu all over again.
And then it got better?
The only thing that has kept me from drinking myself into oblivion is that when I talked to the prof, she gave me a tiny bit of hope. She told me to just do my part, to not take on more than I should, and to let her know who has done what. She also said that I was right about the work we were going to have to redo, and that everything I understood about the assignments and the project as a whole was what she wanted. Most comfortingly, she said my marks won't suffer. I don't know how she can keep that promise, but I figure after this assignment gets handed in, and I tell her the details of the debacle, she might just have to break down and let me join another group.
Plus, aside from a complete mental breakdown, I just don't see how it could get any worse.
(Deep breath)
After the huge success that was our last assignment, there are some events that I haven't shared. Mostly because even thinking about them caused me to shake uncontrollably with rage. I think I've got it under control now, so I'll give it a shot, but you may want to stand away from your computer screen, just in case.
(Another deep breath)
Imagine it: Same time, one week ago...
I finally got everyone's work, way late. For the most part, it wasn't well done, and was either incredibly vague or completely off-topic. In addition to the part I was responsible for, I had drafted the rest of it on my own, and used that as the base, occasionally (very, very occasionally) adding something from the work my group members had given me. I wasn't all that pleased with the job we'd done overall, as I knew we were going to have to redo/add significant amounts to it to make it a proper foundation for the rest of the project.
I was also hella pissed, as I had to go to my parents place at the ungodly hour of 7am in order to print everything off before class because I don't have a printer. I got to class, told the prof I wanted to talk to her, and was hopeful I could get out of the group. When my group members showed up, I tried to be calm as I told them what we were going to have to redo at some point, and I didn't attack any one person. Two of the group members were very good about it, and one of them seemed annoyed at my comments, but as I'd been nice (and was in the right) I felt okay. Then, the last guy came in. The one who had been super late with his stuff.
And then it got bad.
He started in on me, yelling that I was trying to take over everything, and wasn't speaking for the group, and that I was wrong about everything. Now, I don't react well to personal attacks, but I managed to keep my cool, and not yell back. I told him that I just wanted to do well, and that we hadn't done everything we needed to. I told him this in a rational voice (and damn, was I ever proud that I didn't resort to bashing him over the head with a desk.) and looked him in the eye.
And then it got worse.
He retorted that he spoke for the team, and that they wanted to do well too, and he refused to even let me finish a sentence. It was all I could do to keep my hands from shaking, my fury was that intense. After this delightful exchange, we had to meet with the prof to talk about our first assignment, which also was a complete ball of suck that only got done because I pulled something out of my ass in 15 seconds. She told us we would need to make more adjustments to it in order to make it work.
After handing in the part that I had done for the second assignment (the part that vaguely resembled the assignment due), we got to go back and talk about the third assignment. Mr "I speak for the group" took over. He started explaining everything, even though he was wrong on pretty much every point. He made decisions unilaterally that should have been group decisions. I said nothing. Why? Well, I decided that since he was against me, I would let him organize this assignment, and that he'd either surprise me and do a good job, or he'd give me more ammunition on just how much he sucked. Either way, I wasn't up for another yell-fest.
And then it got horrendous.
So, where are we now? Well, the third assignment is due tomorrow morning. I was only supposed to do a small part, and someone else was to compile the different parts and print it. I was not involved in any decisions, and just took the part assigned to me. Consequently, trivial things like deadlines, and making sure the parts read as one whole instead of the independent work of five people were not established. We are 9 hours from class, and I have discovered in the past 90 minutes that they want me to edit and compile. Only problem? I have my part, some weird amalgam of the first two assignments from someone else, and something that seems to be copied directly from some website (and isn't on topic) from a third. Mr "I speak for the group" hasn't sent anything, though apparently he called someone in the past half hour to say "it will be really late" and no one has heard from the other member. And I'm expected to edit, compile and send it back to someone so that she can put the last part in early this morning when she gets it. Oh, and I'm supposed to talk to the guy who hasn't sent anything yet. It is deja vu all over again.
And then it got better?
The only thing that has kept me from drinking myself into oblivion is that when I talked to the prof, she gave me a tiny bit of hope. She told me to just do my part, to not take on more than I should, and to let her know who has done what. She also said that I was right about the work we were going to have to redo, and that everything I understood about the assignments and the project as a whole was what she wanted. Most comfortingly, she said my marks won't suffer. I don't know how she can keep that promise, but I figure after this assignment gets handed in, and I tell her the details of the debacle, she might just have to break down and let me join another group.
Plus, aside from a complete mental breakdown, I just don't see how it could get any worse.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
More fun with numbers
An update on my group work situation. 24 hours past deadline.
# of people who finally sent me emails with their work: 3
# of emails that actually contained said work: 1
# of replies I sent to ask for them to iclude their assignments: 2
# of emails replying with requested info: 0
# of assignments that are actually done properly: 0
# of hours I'm going to have to spend doing the entire thing myself: 4
And finally,
# of drinks I have to imbibe to keep from losing my mind: (do they have a key for infinity?)
# of people who finally sent me emails with their work: 3
# of emails that actually contained said work: 1
# of replies I sent to ask for them to iclude their assignments: 2
# of emails replying with requested info: 0
# of assignments that are actually done properly: 0
# of hours I'm going to have to spend doing the entire thing myself: 4
And finally,
# of drinks I have to imbibe to keep from losing my mind: (do they have a key for infinity?)
Friday, September 19, 2008
Fun with numbers
A little numerical fun for you on this Saturday morning. Note that I'm not including myself in this rundown.
Number of group members: 4
Number of members who agreed to do this week's assignment: 4
Number of times we talked about when it was due: 4
Number of reminder emails: 2
Number of replies promising they'd have it done: 2
Deadlines passed: 1
Number of members who sent their stuff: 0
Grrr.
Number of group members: 4
Number of members who agreed to do this week's assignment: 4
Number of times we talked about when it was due: 4
Number of reminder emails: 2
Number of replies promising they'd have it done: 2
Deadlines passed: 1
Number of members who sent their stuff: 0
Grrr.
Sigh.
Kick the daughter returned today for a nice little mini-round. While infrequent, this is not unprecedented. These mini-rounds, when they take place, occur not long after a major blowout. They take place because another major session would be uncalled for, but something must be done to break my spirit and keep me in line. Mini-rounds are always out of the blue, and usually serve to upset me more than the big ones. Today was no exception.
I discovered that my ever supportive parents (or, to be fair, maybe only one of them) think I'm lying about my marks and my name being on the Dean's list. I was actually asked for proof. That's right kids, though I am long past the age when taking your report card home to mom and dad was required, apparently my not doing it indicates that I have been mendacious. I think this is thought to be true only because I know my parents (well, again, at least one of them) disapproves of my choice in program and school, and would take some sort of sick pleasure in me not doing well as it would prove this notion right. It sounds awful, but I've come to know how their minds work.
I'll say it again - anyone want to trade lives with me?
Sigh.
I discovered that my ever supportive parents (or, to be fair, maybe only one of them) think I'm lying about my marks and my name being on the Dean's list. I was actually asked for proof. That's right kids, though I am long past the age when taking your report card home to mom and dad was required, apparently my not doing it indicates that I have been mendacious. I think this is thought to be true only because I know my parents (well, again, at least one of them) disapproves of my choice in program and school, and would take some sort of sick pleasure in me not doing well as it would prove this notion right. It sounds awful, but I've come to know how their minds work.
I'll say it again - anyone want to trade lives with me?
Sigh.
Group work...
...is just like herding cats. Pointless, painful, and never ends well.
Do you think it is a bad sign that when I went to talk to my advertising prof, the first words out of her mouth were "I know you have at least one big problem with your group" followed by an apology?
Do you think it is a bad sign that when I went to talk to my advertising prof, the first words out of her mouth were "I know you have at least one big problem with your group" followed by an apology?
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