Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I'm very mad at vous

Remember back when I was all "Facebook is awesome and I love it and can't believe I waited so long to join"? Yeah. Me neither.

I mean, sure, some cool stuff has come of it. Like last week, I met up with an old friend from out of town, who I had lost touch with over some...unpleasantness, and we were able to patch everything up. I'll grant you, that was pretty damn fantastic. Aside from the whole 'beer-dipped phone' incident, of course.

However, as I mentioned before, due to Facebook, I also had to spend time with my ex, and that was slightly less pleasant than having my tongue beaten paper thin with a meat tenderizer. But I thought that was it, so I could deal with it, and consider it a small price to pay. Oh how I was wrong.

About a week ago, he sent me a friend request on Facebook, along with a message about how it was so nice to see me, how it had been far too long, and how perhaps it had been long enough for us to be friends.

And therein lies my problem.

I just don't know what to do.

On first blush, I wanted to delete it and go on blissfully ignoring him, but every time I go to do that, I can't. I log in for the express purpose of blowing the request away, and then I start thinking about it, and it occurs to me that I should be able to get over everything and be his friend, even if it is only in a "anyone I have ever known should be counted as my friend" way that online communities breed. Did I say no to someone I talked to occasionally through high school? No. Did I say no to a guy I only hung out with in groups a few times more than a decade ago? No. So why can't I just say yes and leave it at that? Am I that broken? Do I need to hold a grudge that badly? Sure, things ended terribly (understatement alert!) but this was someone I held dear for a long time, a mostly good time. Do I need to count the whole relationship as a black stain on my life?

Ugh. I had no idea this whole thing was going to be so damn complicated.

No comments: