Monday, October 13, 2008

Stephen Harper: Huge douchebag, or the hugest douchebag?

Now, full disclosure first: I tend to view any allegiance to the "Conservative" (I put it in quotes, as it ain't your momma's PC party, but a ragtag bunch of Reform/Alliance members, who are so far right of centre it is surprising they are still on the page) party as some sort of mental defect. Due to this, I am generally not at all surprised by the dillholish actions of any member of this party, be it claiming that immigrants are responsible for crime, or copying Dubya's "If you're not with us, you're against us" line of reasoning.

That being said, I need to say that I'm bowled over by the incredible douchebaggery being illustrated by our illustrious PM (the sarcasm on illustrious came through, right? Good.) during this campaign. How is it possible that he can keep saying the things he does with a straight face? Or without being smotted by lightning from one pissed off deity? The "Ordinary Canadians don't like the arts' comment? Ridiculous. The constant attack ads, despite being the incumbent? Asinine. The refusal to allow his candidates actually show up for all candidate debates? Stunning. Claiming the Liberals would not be good for the country with the economic issues that are facing us, despite the fact that he came to power with a 12 billion (with a B) dollar surplus, and is now running a deficit? Mind boggling. The temper tantrum he threw when as a minority government, he wasn't able to implement every one of his policies? Astonishing.

But possibly the most shocking thing about this is the fact that he might actually get re-elected. How anyone can have enough brain activity going on to allow basic life support functions to take place and still vote for him is beyond me. But it may happen that despite his idiocy and inability to even play at being a decent human being for the duration of the campaign, he may get another mandate. And what the hell do we do then? Considering how he's handled any dissent to date, I'm guessing that he starts cracking down on unnecessary rights and freedoms, so let me just put this out there now, before I'm carted off by his truth police:

Stephen Harper is a giant douchebag. He may even be a bigger douchebag than the hugest of Canadian douchebags, Lyin' Brian Mulroney. Please Canada, do me a solid, and send this bastard packing.

(Polls open in 10 hours. I may have to start drinking heavily.)

No comments: