Friday, August 29, 2008

A riposte

Dear Sir,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful, courteous and intelligent reply. I'm glad to see that your ability to comprehend simple sentences, understand the points being offered for discussion and accept constructive criticism are so well-developed.

I appreciate that you would take more time replying to my comment than you did actually reading it. That does mean a lot to a girl. But in the future, you might find it more helpful if you ensure you understand the remarks to which you are replying before doing so. It would improve things for everyone. I'd end up getting a reply that actually deals with the points I made, which might help me understand your position (this is indeed the point of communication, no?), and you wouldn't end up looking like a complete tool by illustrating that your reading comprehension is less than that of a first grader, and by taking the time to remove the highly unnecessary condescending statements interspersed throughout.

In response to your ill-thought out and misplaced observations, I am familiar with the Internet and how one can pull facts from it. However, as I in no way recommended that you simply converse about basic numbers that any slack-jawed yokel can pull from any of a dozen websites, your haughty suggestion that I look for them on my own time shows you did not understand what I wrote. I am unsure if this is wilful, or if you simply don't have the sense that God gave gravel. If it is the later, I am truly sorry, and would suggest it might be beneficial in these sorts of cases that you get someone to read the email to you, and explain again (perhaps using words of no more than one syllable, or pictures?) what the actual point is before responding in a manner that demarcates you as a mean-spirited, poorly-mannered jackanapes.

Also, while you can re-write your memory of the event under discussion, using words in all caps is not persuasive to anyone who is possessed of a modicum of intelligence, or is above the age of 14.

I live in hope that you were simply in a bad mood, and took out your frustrations in a rash and misguided manner. However, I fear that this is not the case, and in fact you are the poor excuse for a human being that your reply indicates. In any case, please accept my apology for daring to voice an opinion contrary to yours, and rest easy in the knowledge that it will not happen again, as I have decided that I need to listen to your tripe as much as I need a hole in the head.

Please lighten up, and thanks for writing.



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