Psst! I have to tell you something

I haven't been totally honest with you, and it is eating me up inside, so here goes:

I have a boyfriend.

I know, I know. I should have mentioned it sooner, but I just wasn't sure I could share our love with the world. See, he doesn't call a lot, or frequently, and we don't go on dates or anything, and I didn't want to get too excited about it, but now I know it is real, so I need to share this with all of you.

It started a little over a month ago, the day I moved into my new place. The phone rang, and I saw that it was "private". Now, I figure it is probably my friend E, whose cell number is blocked for complicated reasons, as the only other people who call me from "private" are my mom and Stormy, both from work, and I didn't think they were in the office in the middle of the night.I answered the phone, exhausted beyond belief from all the unpacking, and almost said "Hey E!" but my brain and mouth didn't connect on that. Boy was I happy I didn't say anything, as on the other end of the line was this unintelligible male voice, one I had never heard before. I said he had the wrong number, and was about to hang up. Then he asked how the move went, and I wondered if maybe my exhaustion was affecting my ability to recognize my own friends, so I said it went fine. Then the voice kept talking, wanting to know how his "sweetness" was doing, and wanted to know if he could come over. I kept repeating that he had the wrong number, and eventually hung up. Then, I promptly fell asleep and forgot all about it.

This weekend, I get another couple of phone calls from the mysterious "private", and I don't answer them, due to my status as a grumble-puss. I check my voicemail earlier today, and along with some messages about the bar snafu, there is a garbled message from the same unintelligible voice, asking how I was doing, suggesting we should get together, saying that he misses and loves me. So, I guess it is official. I have a boyfriend. Granted, we've never met, and I feel dirty and kinda uncomfortable after he calls, but it is better than being alone, right? Ah well, maybe I can get over those feelings in the next month so that I'm ready for his next call, and he can finally arrange to see his "sugar".