Back to School: Week One in review

As you may have heard, I have decided to re-enter the scholastic world after almost a decade away from it. I knew that it would be a great change to my life, and thought I was prepared for it. Bwahahaha. Ahem. As I was saying, classes started this week, and here are my general impressions of week one:

Holy Flirking Schnit.

Oh, you'd like something a tad more descriptive? Fine.

Last week, when I went to the orientation for the business school, I realized that I am so far out of my element. More than one person brought their mom. To orientation. I mean, I know that going off to school can be scary, but if you need to bring your mommy to the orientation session four days before classes start, you probably aren't ready for post-secondary education. When sitting the auditorium for a presentation, about 70% of my fellow students went 'Ooooooh' at the lights dimming, and tittered when in the presentation there was a reference to someone meeting their boyfriend at the student help centre. Later, someone actually asked if we needed to take our own notes in class. I was concerned, but figured this was just orientation, and when actual school started, my classmates would behave more like adults and less like a bunch of ten year olds hoped up on sugar with a supply teacher.

So, this week I go to class, expecting things to be better, and I can't believe I'm in a post secondary institution. People can't shut up in class, and they aren't talking in whispers, oh no, but at a volume that is normally reserved for when someone is talking on their cellphone in public, even when the prof is trying to lecture. They show up almost an hour into class, and when we're given a ten minute break, they traipse back half an hour later. They can't take notes, or at least can't take them at an appropriate speed, as student after student demands that the prof return to an earlier slide so they can take another five minutes to copy down the 17 word definition of social marketing in addition to the ten minutes we spent earlier with that slide up in front of us. Did I mention that a copy of this presentation will be available on the web next week, and that all these definitions are also found in the textbook?

In another class, the prof gave out an article to read on the subject of preparing business students for the business world, and he said "Here's an article to think about, now it doesn't get everything right, but it does make you think." His attempt at provoking thought resulted in one particularly petulant student (who had spent the better part of a half hour sleeping right in front of him) actually yelling at him that she didn't want to wear a business suit, wasn't going to, he couldn't make her, and look at what he was wearing, so he had no right to criticize her clothes (see-through top and low rider jeans with her g string hanging out. Everyone has a right to criticize that garbage, no matter what they are wearing). And let's not even speak of the vast numbers of people who played computer games or spent all class on Facebook.

I finished my first week of school wondering what the hell is wrong with kids today. I knew going back to school would make me feel old, but I figured I'd at least get once through my weekly schedule before that happened. Glad I didn't put any money on it. I'll need that money for booze.