I was obviously Hitler in a past life

I have to have been. That's pretty much the only thing that explains my karma.

After my post asking about me being demanding, I went to my parents for a family member's birthday dinner, and it was awful. My mother was terrible to me, and I watched her needle my father, and I just decided that no matter what, I didn't want a relationship like that, and that what the boy and I had was pretty damn good, so I'd work through it. I'd decided to not talk to him about my demands. I got home from dinner and called him, and we had one of our nice, long, really amazing talks. I told him I was bringing him some of the meringues I made for curling, and we said we were looking forward to seeing each other in the morning.

I arrived at the coffee shop a bit early, and he was there. We said hi, and chatted a bit, and he bought us coffee. We went and found a table, and he told me that he got the gig in Tulsa. I congratulated him, and then he said that it meant spending two weekends a month there, and that he thought that meant he wasn't going to be able to be in a relationship. I just about passed out. We spent the better part of two hours sitting there, alternately talking and sitting in silence, me trying to figure out what the hell he was thinking, and why he was doing this, and him giving me mixed messages. I'd sit there looking away, and out of the corner of my eye, I'd catch him looking at me, but when I'd look up to meet his eyes, he'd look away and pretend he hadn't been looking. Finally, he had to go catch his flight to Hoboken, and he got up to leave. He asked if we could talk later, and I said sure, and then he hugged me, tightly, and kissed my head a couple of times, and then we broke apart, and he kissed me a couple of times, and then he took the meringues and left. I was upset, and confused, and had to go do some schoolwork.

Fastforward to later in the evening, when I'm trying to study for my accounting exam today (again, what did I do to deserve this?) and not being able to, as all I can think of is our promised conversation. I finally sack up, and call him. He picks up the phone, and apologizes for not calling, and we have short, stilted chat about the rest of our days. Then he says he'll call me back on his calling card, and I say okay, and hang up, partially convinced he won't. But, a few minutes later, he does. We again have this stilted conversation about stuff other than the elephant in the room. I take the plunge, and mention it. And we go through everything. I ask him all the things I need/want to know, and he tries to explain. Basically, he said he needs to focus on his career and his kid, and can't do a relationship, and he doesn't want a relationship, and all that. But it is the strangest conversation I've ever had, because while we do talk about us, we also talk about random stuff in our lives from earlier in the day, and stuff that had happened to us on other days, and in some ways, were really, really honest about everything, and it was like our normal conversations. We talked for almost two hours, including a break where he had to get off the phone for a bit, but then called me back. He said he didn't want to never talk to me again, but was surprised that I didn't want him dead, and didn't know how to handle us...however we end up. I was surprised that I didn't want him dead either. I'm angry (and how!) and think he's not being honest with himself and that he's doing this for other reasons (fear of intimacy, fear of getting hurt, fear of not being able to make me/us happy with him being away so much) and am not unconvinced that he won't wake up and realize that he made a mistake at some point in the future, but I don't want him dead. And I do think I want him in my life. I opened up to him in ways I haven't to anyone else, and I don't want to let go of that, whatever else happens. And yes, I might change my mind on that, but right now, that's how I feel.

So, we're going to talk when he's back in town in a couple of weeks. I guess that's supposed to give us time to separate, or get over it, or whatever. I'm not sure that I'm not hoping it gives him time to smarten up and retract this. And yes, that's a stupid thing, and I'm trying to not focus on that, but I just can't. This will sound insane, I know, but I would swear to you that we are a perfect fit, and I just can't accept that if I haven't totally been snowed by him, that we aren't supposed to be together.

And now, I'm left with a broken heart, shattered confidence and a feeling that I'm a terrible judge of character. I'd drink, but accounting takes a sober mind.

Score one for the crazy person

Well....so, that happened.

Sigh. I don't even know if I've got the words. But, you'll need closure on the anecdote, so go the the bathroom, get a bevy, and here we go.

I may be crazy, but in this case? I was right.

A bit of background for you:

Tyrell (a pseudonym to protect the insanely douchey) and I started chatting on a favourite website about a month ago. It started casually, but soon degenerated into hardcore, obvious flirting for the whole community to see. We'd spend hours (roughly 4 every night for ten or so day) talking just the two of us, veering into pretty naughty territory, but having a wonderful time. A few weeks ago, after we seemed to reach the point of no return, Tyrell asked me to email him. I did, and after a few emails, we exchanged numbers. Four minutes later, he called me, and we spent almost two hours on the phone, talking about all sorts of stuff. First, he admitted that he had a small thing he needed to care for every second weekend, and then, he admitted that he had taken a job which would require him to spend half his week in Hoboken. He said he wasn't sure about "starting something" with this change looming, and I replied that we hadn't really started anything. We made plans for the next night.

I was worried that we wouldn't hit it off in person, or that he wouldn't like the way I looked (or vice versa). But it turned out just fine. He came, we watched the hockey game together, he watched me curl. After, we went back to his place for drinks. The next day, he sent me home in a cab (that he paid for) and I sorta figured that might be it. But, he sent me an email, and that started a downpour. We would talk on the phone for roughly 1.5 to 2 hours every night, and during the day, we'd text each other and email. He initiated all this, always being the one to start the emailing, texting or phone calls. I was playing it cool. He said he had the next Saturday free, so did I want to have lunch? I said sure, and we agreed that he'd bring lunch to my place. He brought a lovely bottle of wine and a charming Italian dish. It was fantastic.

In seven days, I received 100 text messages from him, all talking about how wonderful I was, and how he couldn't wait to see me. We'd talk about how this whole thing was a little overwhelming and how we couldn't believe that it had happened so quickly. A week ago, we planned meeting up in a few weeks for one big bash before Hoboken, and he talked about wanting to see me before then. He asked me to lunch, but I couldn't go. Then he asked me for coffee, and indicated that he really wanted to see me. I went, and we had a great time, sitting and drinking our coffee and talking.

Wednesday, after some racy text messages, we agreed that we'd meet up after my exam. We met up, went to his place, and spent a nice evening. When I needed to go home (due to foreign diplomats arriving at his place the next day and the need to clean up in preparation) he kept on repeating how he couldn't believe he was doing something so stupid and sending me home. He gave me money for a cab, and walked me outside, gave me a kiss and popped me into a cab with instructions to text when I got home. I did, and we had a bit of a back and forth. Thursday, again, at his initiative, lots of texting, including a request for me to say hi to the gang on the website, as well as lots of "can't wait to see you", "wish you were here" etc from him. Friday, a quick morning text from him, my reply, and then an evening text from me.

And then? Nothing.

So, I worried and got all insane, like I tend to, and talked to my friends to calm me down, convinced that this was different and everything would be just fine. Today, three plus days since I'd heard anything, I decided to send an email, just saying hi, mentioning my weekend and asking about our plans for Thursday. I did. And immediately got a bounce back email telling me that the email I had received and sent 60 emails from/to did not exist. I had a friend confirm that it had not just been a fluke. Tyrell's email didn't work anymore.

I had my answer. I hadn't been panicking without reason.

Next time: The hell? Alternately titled: Seriously, the hell? (An in depth analysis)

The hell?!?!?!?!?

Last night, we didn't have curling (lousy bonspiel, ruining all my fun) so my curling buddy and I went out for dinner and a chat about the exciting fact that at least one hot bartender is back this year, and about our respective crushes.

We went to local pub, midway between our places, and had a lovely time. Good food (deep fried cheescake is awesome, yo!), good beer, good conversation, and good hockey (cram it with walnuts you stupid Habs!). All in all, a great evening. We got our bill, paid it, and left the pub. As we were crossing the street, someone kept calling out "Ladies!" We ignored them, as they couldn't be talking to us. It turns out they were. Our server was chasing us, saying we hadn't paid the whole bill, and wanted to talk it out in the middle of traffic on a major street. She said we hadn't left enough, and she could show us, so we followed her back in, and she gave us the folder with our bill and money in it. There were two twenties, a ten, a five and some coins. Not enough to cover the bill. However, we had a problem with this.

The problem? We counted the money three times, and there is no chance that we'd both count a five as a twenty THREE times. Different values in Canadian money can clearly be seen, unlike American money, where you have to look close.

The other problem? Neither of us had a five in our wallets at the start of the evening. My friend had three twenties, and I had a twenty (fresh from the bank machine) and a ten. And as we never asked for change, how the hell did a five get in there?

We know we put $70+ in the folder, and left, so the only thing we can think of is that someone (either our server or someone else on staff, or maybe another patron?) switched out a twenty for a five, and hoped we'd be nice (read: gullible) enough to put more cash down. And the fact that she'd be all "But I can show you!"with something she had left sitting out where anyone in the pub could access it doesn't prove anything. So, when faced with a five instead of a twenty in the folder, we did the only thing we could see doing. We gave her another twenty, grumbled and left.

What was supposed to be a relatively inexpensive night turned into a hugely annoying, very expensive night. I'm never going back, and I'm ever so pissed.

To ease the pain, we went back to her place and downed a bottle of wine.

Really though, what else could we have done?

I REALLY hate my financial institution

In a move that some would find shocking, I kept my bank account at my former employer. It was easier to keep it because all my bills were set up under it, and I'm a lazy, lazy person. I had another account with a different institution, but that was for one monthly withdrawal and any cheques I had to write (my former employer was never able to get me the cheques I requested, and I eventually stopped asking. They also weren't able to set me up with internet banking. And I'm not the only employee they managed to do those things to. I'm surprised the people who work in those branches are able to dress themselves. But I digress.) but most of my banking is done through my former employer.

That is gonna change.

Today, I went in to deposit a cheque, so that I could use the money for trivial things like food, and important stuff like a new shirt for my study date tomorrow. I went to the teller, thinking I'd be able to get a few dollars out today instead of waiting. Boy was I wrong.

The teller was all confused, and told me there was a hold, but she would get someone to authorize my withdrawal of 5% of the money today. That person came over, and looked at my file, and yelled that I hadn't updated my information. I was in that very same branch not two months ago, paying my fees for school, at which time I updated all my information with the teller (or so I thought) so I told her I was confused. Then she ripped into me for not having employment information listed. This confused me, as I'm not sure what business it is of theirs where I'm employed, but I told her I was in school, so there wouldn't be employment info. She retorted that they should have my school information listed then. Again, I stated that I had been in, paying my fees for said school not that long ago, so you could take a look at my transactions and see a bill being paid to my school, and deduce that probably is the school I'm attending. Again, I don't see why this is their business, but whatever. I told them my school name.

Then, they ask to see a bunch of forms of id, never mind that they have my card, and have already updated the information I gave them. I can see why this is important if I'm taking money out, but fail to see the importance when depositing money. I'd be the worst thief ever. And let me point out that at this point, they haven't actually deposited the money, so I guess they are testing to see who I am for the information update. I know they need to confirm my identity, but asking me upfront at the start of the transaction in a polite manner would be better than getting part way through and demanding it like I'm some kind of criminal.

And then, the final insult. They tell me they can't do anything, but if I want to head to the bank where the cheque originates and get it certified, then they can help me, but other than that, I'm boned. I'd like to point out at this juncture that having worked at a financial institution, and being a person with at least a modicum of intelligence, I know that there are many things they could have tried to help me. They could have called my home branch to get the hold lifted in whole or in part (again, I wanted 60$, not the whole amount of the cheque), or they could have called the branch the cheque came from to see if they could get certification over the phone, or they could have decided that since I've never deposited a cheque that wasn't good, they could advance me the 60$. And there are probably other things they could have tried. They might not have worked, but it would be worth a shot. Instead, they decided to make no effort to help, and instead dump the problem in my lap. This is why I pay fees? Next time, I'll just get cash and stuff the money under my mattress.

Finally, the woman explained everything to me like I was a child, and offered to send a letter to my home branch to see if eventually they'd remove the hold, and sat back, satisfied that this should make me happy, even though I told her that I actually needed a tiny bit of money for tomorrow and the rest could wait. When I told her there was no point, as I needed the money tomorrow and ordinarily I don't need it, so it doesn't solve the problem I have, she didn't even bother to apologize or be nice at all.

So, now I can't buy the food I wanted, or get the new top I was eyeing, or even pick up the clothes and winter coat I had tailored (this is why I needed the 60$) until next week.

Today was the last straw. I'm so overcome with rage at the continuing ineptitude of my former employer that as soon as I can access my money, I'm taking it all out, and closing the account. And I'm telling them exactly why, pointing out that even when they eliminated my job, I didn't close the account, but their inability to get any of the tiny requests I've made right has made it impossible for me to keep my account.

And, in a nice turn, today has also opened up those old wounds of "Why the hell am I out of a job when simpering morons who can't complete the simplest of tasks keep theirs?" and "I can't believe that I'm so worthless that I can be let go this way." which I thought I'd left behind.

Grrrrrrr.

Sigh.

Well, that sucked.

I'm so glad we dissolved a Conservative minority government in order to elect a Conservative minority government.

Way to go Canada, this so isn't a completely asinine decision, and totally won't come back to haunt us. Nothing but good will come from this heinous, idiotic result.

If you need me, I'll be drinking myself blind till the next election.

And Alberta?

Electing all Conservative members, even incompetent dullard Rona Ambrose?

Cram it with walnuts, you ugly, ugly dillholes. Thanks for making a good case for us ignoring everything you do. Sigh.

Update: apparently they let one NDP member in, which doesn't make up for the rest of the seats going to that ultra-right wing nut job party. You're still on notice.

Oh, Canada...

...are we breaking up?

Seriously. If things keep going the way they seem to be, I may have to find a new country to call home.

For shame.

Stephen Harper: Huge douchebag, or the hugest douchebag?

Now, full disclosure first: I tend to view any allegiance to the "Conservative" (I put it in quotes, as it ain't your momma's PC party, but a ragtag bunch of Reform/Alliance members, who are so far right of centre it is surprising they are still on the page) party as some sort of mental defect. Due to this, I am generally not at all surprised by the dillholish actions of any member of this party, be it claiming that immigrants are responsible for crime, or copying Dubya's "If you're not with us, you're against us" line of reasoning.

That being said, I need to say that I'm bowled over by the incredible douchebaggery being illustrated by our illustrious PM (the sarcasm on illustrious came through, right? Good.) during this campaign. How is it possible that he can keep saying the things he does with a straight face? Or without being smotted by lightning from one pissed off deity? The "Ordinary Canadians don't like the arts' comment? Ridiculous. The constant attack ads, despite being the incumbent? Asinine. The refusal to allow his candidates actually show up for all candidate debates? Stunning. Claiming the Liberals would not be good for the country with the economic issues that are facing us, despite the fact that he came to power with a 12 billion (with a B) dollar surplus, and is now running a deficit? Mind boggling. The temper tantrum he threw when as a minority government, he wasn't able to implement every one of his policies? Astonishing.

But possibly the most shocking thing about this is the fact that he might actually get re-elected. How anyone can have enough brain activity going on to allow basic life support functions to take place and still vote for him is beyond me. But it may happen that despite his idiocy and inability to even play at being a decent human being for the duration of the campaign, he may get another mandate. And what the hell do we do then? Considering how he's handled any dissent to date, I'm guessing that he starts cracking down on unnecessary rights and freedoms, so let me just put this out there now, before I'm carted off by his truth police:

Stephen Harper is a giant douchebag. He may even be a bigger douchebag than the hugest of Canadian douchebags, Lyin' Brian Mulroney. Please Canada, do me a solid, and send this bastard packing.

(Polls open in 10 hours. I may have to start drinking heavily.)