Sigh.

Well, that sucked.

I'm so glad we dissolved a Conservative minority government in order to elect a Conservative minority government.

Way to go Canada, this so isn't a completely asinine decision, and totally won't come back to haunt us. Nothing but good will come from this heinous, idiotic result.

If you need me, I'll be drinking myself blind till the next election.

And Alberta?

Electing all Conservative members, even incompetent dullard Rona Ambrose?

Cram it with walnuts, you ugly, ugly dillholes. Thanks for making a good case for us ignoring everything you do. Sigh.

Update: apparently they let one NDP member in, which doesn't make up for the rest of the seats going to that ultra-right wing nut job party. You're still on notice.

Oh, Canada...

...are we breaking up?

Seriously. If things keep going the way they seem to be, I may have to find a new country to call home.

For shame.

Stephen Harper: Huge douchebag, or the hugest douchebag?

Now, full disclosure first: I tend to view any allegiance to the "Conservative" (I put it in quotes, as it ain't your momma's PC party, but a ragtag bunch of Reform/Alliance members, who are so far right of centre it is surprising they are still on the page) party as some sort of mental defect. Due to this, I am generally not at all surprised by the dillholish actions of any member of this party, be it claiming that immigrants are responsible for crime, or copying Dubya's "If you're not with us, you're against us" line of reasoning.

That being said, I need to say that I'm bowled over by the incredible douchebaggery being illustrated by our illustrious PM (the sarcasm on illustrious came through, right? Good.) during this campaign. How is it possible that he can keep saying the things he does with a straight face? Or without being smotted by lightning from one pissed off deity? The "Ordinary Canadians don't like the arts' comment? Ridiculous. The constant attack ads, despite being the incumbent? Asinine. The refusal to allow his candidates actually show up for all candidate debates? Stunning. Claiming the Liberals would not be good for the country with the economic issues that are facing us, despite the fact that he came to power with a 12 billion (with a B) dollar surplus, and is now running a deficit? Mind boggling. The temper tantrum he threw when as a minority government, he wasn't able to implement every one of his policies? Astonishing.

But possibly the most shocking thing about this is the fact that he might actually get re-elected. How anyone can have enough brain activity going on to allow basic life support functions to take place and still vote for him is beyond me. But it may happen that despite his idiocy and inability to even play at being a decent human being for the duration of the campaign, he may get another mandate. And what the hell do we do then? Considering how he's handled any dissent to date, I'm guessing that he starts cracking down on unnecessary rights and freedoms, so let me just put this out there now, before I'm carted off by his truth police:

Stephen Harper is a giant douchebag. He may even be a bigger douchebag than the hugest of Canadian douchebags, Lyin' Brian Mulroney. Please Canada, do me a solid, and send this bastard packing.

(Polls open in 10 hours. I may have to start drinking heavily.)

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

That's right - it's curling time again!

Last night was the first game of the season, and unlike previous years, I had no panic attack about if I remembered how to play. I remembered, and how. I made three absolutely perfect shots, where everything went exactly as my skip requested, and made only one cringeworthy terrible shot. The rest varied from good to excellent. My opponents even commented on my awesome form, which, considering I spent a good portion of my first three years curling bashing my knee into the ice, is pretty impressive.

Despite having a newbie on our team, who had precisely 20 minutes of training before stepping out on the ice, we won 5 -3. And I've been told that next draw I'm in all likelihood being promoted to vice. Yippee!!

Blockbuster trade!!

Tee hee.

I still can't think about it without giggling with joy.

The last assignment was the last straw. I went in, and handed in my part (as well as the two that were way off point) and explained everything. Then, in a brilliant move reminiscent of a great general manager, the prof pulled off a spectacular trade.

I got moved to a team with one seriously under-performing member, who was shipped back to my team. And I couldn't be more thrilled. This team, while not perfect, actually gets works done, and doesn't make me want to bash myself on the head every second while working on the project.

I got to break the news to my team. I told the two of them who were in class (Mr. "I speak for the group" didn't show and didn't send in his work either) and later I sent the whole team an email detailing the change, and I included all the work I had done so far. I haven't heard back from them, and it just makes me all tingly.

But, something happened to make me think that maybe I underestimated Fratty McFratterson. He was one of the two who came to class, and I told him about the trade immediately. He replied immediately, with a shocked look on his face, "No fair! We're trading a 5-star for a 1-star!" I guess he is more perceptive than I thought. And I appreciate the compliment. I'm glad someone noticed.

Let the group-work induced drinking begin!

Remember the whole fiasco that took place last week with my advertising class? Yeah, I know, I tried to wipe it from my mind too, but no such luck.

(Deep breath)


After the huge success that was our last assignment, there are some events that I haven't shared. Mostly because even thinking about them caused me to shake uncontrollably with rage. I think I've got it under control now, so I'll give it a shot, but you may want to stand away from your computer screen, just in case.

(Another deep breath)

Imagine it: Same time, one week ago...

I finally got everyone's work, way late. For the most part, it wasn't well done, and was either incredibly vague or completely off-topic. In addition to the part I was responsible for, I had drafted the rest of it on my own, and used that as the base, occasionally (very, very occasionally) adding something from the work my group members had given me. I wasn't all that pleased with the job we'd done overall, as I knew we were going to have to redo/add significant amounts to it to make it a proper foundation for the rest of the project.

I was also hella pissed, as I had to go to my parents place at the ungodly hour of 7am in order to print everything off before class because I don't have a printer. I got to class, told the prof I wanted to talk to her, and was hopeful I could get out of the group. When my group members showed up, I tried to be calm as I told them what we were going to have to redo at some point, and I didn't attack any one person. Two of the group members were very good about it, and one of them seemed annoyed at my comments, but as I'd been nice (and was in the right) I felt okay. Then, the last guy came in. The one who had been super late with his stuff.

And then it got bad.

He started in on me, yelling that I was trying to take over everything, and wasn't speaking for the group, and that I was wrong about everything. Now, I don't react well to personal attacks, but I managed to keep my cool, and not yell back. I told him that I just wanted to do well, and that we hadn't done everything we needed to. I told him this in a rational voice (and damn, was I ever proud that I didn't resort to bashing him over the head with a desk.) and looked him in the eye.

And then it got worse.

He retorted that he spoke for the team, and that they wanted to do well too, and he refused to even let me finish a sentence. It was all I could do to keep my hands from shaking, my fury was that intense. After this delightful exchange, we had to meet with the prof to talk about our first assignment, which also was a complete ball of suck that only got done because I pulled something out of my ass in 15 seconds. She told us we would need to make more adjustments to it in order to make it work.

After handing in the part that I had done for the second assignment (the part that vaguely resembled the assignment due), we got to go back and talk about the third assignment. Mr "I speak for the group" took over. He started explaining everything, even though he was wrong on pretty much every point. He made decisions unilaterally that should have been group decisions. I said nothing. Why? Well, I decided that since he was against me, I would let him organize this assignment, and that he'd either surprise me and do a good job, or he'd give me more ammunition on just how much he sucked. Either way, I wasn't up for another yell-fest.

And then it got horrendous.

So, where are we now? Well, the third assignment is due tomorrow morning. I was only supposed to do a small part, and someone else was to compile the different parts and print it. I was not involved in any decisions, and just took the part assigned to me. Consequently, trivial things like deadlines, and making sure the parts read as one whole instead of the independent work of five people were not established. We are 9 hours from class, and I have discovered in the past 90 minutes that they want me to edit and compile. Only problem? I have my part, some weird amalgam of the first two assignments from someone else, and something that seems to be copied directly from some website (and isn't on topic) from a third. Mr "I speak for the group" hasn't sent anything, though apparently he called someone in the past half hour to say "it will be really late" and no one has heard from the other member. And I'm expected to edit, compile and send it back to someone so that she can put the last part in early this morning when she gets it. Oh, and I'm supposed to talk to the guy who hasn't sent anything yet. It is deja vu all over again.

And then it got better?

The only thing that has kept me from drinking myself into oblivion is that when I talked to the prof, she gave me a tiny bit of hope. She told me to just do my part, to not take on more than I should, and to let her know who has done what. She also said that I was right about the work we were going to have to redo, and that everything I understood about the assignments and the project as a whole was what she wanted. Most comfortingly, she said my marks won't suffer. I don't know how she can keep that promise, but I figure after this assignment gets handed in, and I tell her the details of the debacle, she might just have to break down and let me join another group.

Plus, aside from a complete mental breakdown, I just don't see how it could get any worse.

Someone up there hates me.

My birthday rolls around this week, and what movie is opening on the anniversary of my illustrious birth? Something with the gravitas of the soon to open Oscar contenders? Close.

The movie of which I speak? Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Yeah, the one with the talking dogs. That's right, not just one, but a whole (pardon the pun) kennel of them.

I know, it is a perfect companion to me getting another year older. And it certainly does scream festive. A feel good family romp. I'm glad that instead of working on curing cancer, we've decided as a society instead to focus our energies on striving to make talking pooches look more realistic.

If my eyes rolled any harder as I type this, they'd fall out. The arts, I weep for you.

Forget crush...

...I'm completely head over heels.


Thank you, gods of the classroom.

He is everything I ever wanted in a classroom crush, and just keeps getting better. He makes going to our class worthwhile, which is impressive, considering the prof is a rude man whose writing resembles chicken scratch and who answers every question with "Read the book!" Yeah, he's that good. He is worth every inconvenience thrown my way. Even my douchey advertising group, where no one seems to be able to follow simple instructions, or keep from yelling at me when I suggest we should actually do the assignment as requested. Yup, I'm willing to put up with that much. I know, pathetic...sigh, but you haven't met him...

More fun with numbers

An update on my group work situation. 24 hours past deadline.

# of people who finally sent me emails with their work: 3

# of emails that actually contained said work: 1

# of replies I sent to ask for them to iclude their assignments: 2

# of emails replying with requested info: 0

# of assignments that are actually done properly: 0

# of hours I'm going to have to spend doing the entire thing myself: 4

And finally,

# of drinks I have to imbibe to keep from losing my mind: (do they have a key for infinity?)